Welcoming Discipline And Grounding My Guru

Can I just be real with you for a minute?

I am notoriously flaky and non-committal. I have been this way my entire life. I chalk it up to an overwhelming character flaw that has plagued my very existence.

Yet the older I get, the more I am driven to be something more. This overwhelming desire to complete something, to finish something, to see something through to the end has become an incessant nagging that refuses to go away.

And then one day, I found something that I knew would would fix all of my problems.

I swore to myself that

would be different.

Yoga would change my life. Yoga would bring me inner peace, balance and oneness. I would become a Yoga Guru, who would perform amazingly difficult poses with ease and grace. I would study Yoga, practice Yoga and fully embody all things Yoga.

Don’t get me wrong, I always start every endeavor with the best intentions. Completely unrealistic and overly exaggerated expectations are my forte.

But then, life happens.

Life can be busy, stressful and frustrating. It can leave even the most ambitiously inclined person up a creek, without a paddle. Before I knew it, I got sucked in to the current of my usual habits, daily routines and busy work schedule. My dream of being a Yoga Guru took a back seat to, well, life.

As a Gemini,

is my element.

My head is quite literally in the clouds and my heart is never far behind.  I flow effortlessly from one thing to the next and I welcome change with pure, childlike excitement.

It is no wonder my life has become a series of un-finished projects and good intentions left floating in the wind.

There is one element that I just cannot seem to wrap my head around…

 Earth, is needed to maintain grounding, stability, growth and nourishment. Balance can never be achieved without these key ingredients. I had to find a way to incorporate these aspects into my life.

Yoga, quite literally, forced me to take time out of my extremely Air influenced existence, to plant my feet firmly on the ground.

Through Yoga I created

I became grounded and rooted within the Earth element.  I began planting seeds of knowledge, wisdom and desire. I would return, each day, to nourish and perfect everything I’ve planted.  As these seeds of intent grew, I became more firmly rooted in my perspective of self. I found my place in this amazing existence. I became one with all that is. I became whole.

This is it.  This is my reminder.  My mantra that encompasses all that I truly desire.

When I am feeling lost, frustrated and overwhelmed, I can find my purpose and motivation here.

It is so easy to let life get in the way of our journey.

I realized that I could no longer continue to do the same thing and expect different results. Sometimes we need to get out of our own way. We must welcome the discipline we know we so desperately need and focus on grounding our Inner Guru.

Yoga did not change me. The practice and discipline that Yoga provides, allowed me to change myself.

When Life Gives You…. Wait. Those are my Organic Lemons, Dammit.

The April Full (Blood) Moon and coinciding Lunar Eclipse exploded with my Elemental energy

When April arrived, I couldn’t help but notice that my life somehow managed to cast the leading role in a weird, ironic Sour Patch commercial. It is the only thing that describes the utter ridiculousness I’ve been subjected to.

Mystic Mamma describes April’s Chaotic Energies perfectly…

Yet, as I continued my research, I was continuously reminded that this would be such an amazing time for a

With the energy of the April Full Moon rising, my emotions ran rampant, my thoughts teetered on the brink of insanity and endless irrational fears fought their way to the surface. I was frustrated with literally everything in my life. I was loosing my ever lovin’ mind.

Everyone I came in contact with, mirrored and reflected this negative energy nightmare right back to me. I couldn’t avoid it. I was sucking up negativity like a fucking Dyson.

I became one

I just couldn’t get my shit together.

With the Full Moon Goddess perched at her highest point in the sky, I finally had a moment of clarity…

Everything I’ve feared, everything I’ve run from, everything I’ve pushed aside, everything I’ve buried-

brought by the Full Moon Goddess through my own Air Element.

I was forced to face my reflection head on. I didn’t like it. I hated it. I even fought it tooth and nail. The Full Moon Goddess awakened a dark, dormant, ‘not so nice’ aspect of me.  I stood in horror as my Shadow Self worked endlessly, day after day, to claw it’s way to the surface. I could no longer continue to hide, push aside or bury, who I am.

Everything that blew up, caught fire and crumbled around me- Every last bit of it…Was totally and completely

Every single aspect of the drama and negativity I experienced was self inflicted. That was one hell of a realization to wrap my head around.

But I knew in my heart, that it was true.  And yet, don’t we all ignore, put off and forget about the things we so carefully choose not to deal with?

This prolonged negative frequency, will eventually manifest in our physical lives as

It is amazing how easily we begin putting off those seemingly irritating tasks, we really

“Don’t Want To Do…”

If we continue to make the choice to avoid, bury, repress or ignore the seemingly frustrating aspects of our Self, rest assured that our physical reality will respond to match that negative frequency. How many of us are walking around, fuming like a volcano, just waiting to explode?

Take a look at your life as it stands right now. How much of your daily life is affected and influenced by Procrastination?  If you begin to see a repeating pattern unfold, dig a little deeper into what the Root of that problem could be. Emotions are always the key. We must first acknowledge the “not so nice” aspects of Self, before we can begin to release and move forward on our journey.